The Gut Knows What the Gut Feels

FUNNY how a bodily organ so unrelated to logic can be such a valuable guide in life directions and life decisions. There's that overused saying: "trust your gut." You know how you feel about something but can't explain the logic or reason behind it. You just know. You feel it in your gut.

That's how I felt about the California job, especially when I got a really low salary offer. The job description was great, the location as not so great and the salary offer was worse. Objectively, I would not be able to have any kind of decent savings with that one. But they were offering to sponsor a work visa. Dangle something like that in front of an international student and well, you might just get everything you want out of her or him. But the operational word is "might".

Today I turned down the California job offer. I realized, well, if I wanted to I could always scrimp and save. I'm pretty good at handling expenses anyway. I was all knotted up and kind of scared of continuing on with the uncertainty of life without a full-time job. The pressure had been building up since Saturday when I started procrastinating about writing the letter. But this morning, as soon as I clicked on the send button, my stomach muscles relaxed. It felt good and freeing.

Manila does not seem scary anymore. Ms. W and Ms. C, I assure you I am not giving up on the job search. I am just finally opening myself to other possibilities. :)