Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I have no regrets! (Or may I say, I should have no regrets...)

Hello friends in the US,

so, what does change feel like? Everyone must be full of anticipation over there. Heh... what am I talking about, everyone IS full of anticipation all aroudn the world!

Our local newspaper here put huge Obama picture on the front page. His profile was broadcasted on TV. People talked and still talks about him. I even heard a rumour about a house that he lived in when he was a child in Menteng, Jakarta, that someone offered to buy the house for 150 million rupiah (a really big sum of money in our country) but was rejected.

Okay, enough about the new US president-elect. I was going to talk about change. Deciding to have change for me means going towards the unknown. A really frightening journey. Good change, or we-think-it-is-good change holds great expectation. We start thinking what awesome things we're going to get with the change.

But what if the outcome isn't as good as we'd like it to be? Dissapointment, frustration, and all things that sometimes can make us dwell in the past. We'll start thinking, 'I wish I can go back through time.' Making us unable to enjoy the moment, be it good or bad. And when we've realized that we've drowned in self pity for too long, we have missed so much.

So from now on, the phrase 'I have no regrets' should be our slogan. People make mistakes. From those mistakes, we learn something, unfortunately the hard way. But still, we learn something. The way I see it, change is a good thing. When the change gives positive outcome, good for us. On the contrary, when it gives negative outcomes, be strong to take responsibility for the decisions we've made.

A post written when a nostalgic feeling came up while flipping through pictures of the US.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Stairs

In an attempt to leading a healthy lifestyle, I was determined to take the stairs instead of the elevator in the morning when I get to my office. I thought this was a good idea since I usually arrived an hour before the work hour started so nobody would see me look miserable after climbing the stairs.

So today I was going to start. I thought maybe 5 floors would be fine for day 1. I couldn't find the stairway entry on the 1st floor, so I took the elevator to the third floor and took the emergency stairway from there. Before closing the door, I checked if I can get out. Everything was fine, I let go of the door handle, and start climbing upstairs. When I got to the 8th floor, I thought, "only two more floors, I can do it!" But on the 9th, I decided I'll stop for today. Turned out, the door was locked!

I remember my friends opening the emergency exit door in front of my office one day so I thought 10th floor wouldn't be locked. So I forced myself up one more floor. No luck! I felt so miserable, and scared too. What if those doors were locked from the inside... Who should I call? I don't know the building maintenance number. My office mate wouldn't arrive any minute soon. I started climbing down the stairs and trying the door one by one. Thank God, door on the 4th floor could be opened.

Now I'm having a weak knee.... Boy, being healthy is full of challenges!!

Monday, June 30, 2008

What's up with Ms. C

So, I'm finally writing again after some time. I actually have lots of things to write but I'm not sure how I should write it down. But I promised Ms. N on my email that I will write what had happened during my longgggg~~~~ hiatus.

So let's see... The last time I wrote, I think I was happy that I was considered by a big shot company in Texas. That was late October. However, that consideration actually turned out to be a painful tiny hope I was clutching into. When I contacted the company, they told me to wait and if I'm still available for the job when they're ready for me, I would be offered a job there. In the end, they didn't say no to me but I decided to make a decision since every time I talked to the contact person, it always ended with another waiting time I have to endure. Imagine, I had bought my flight ticket home for November when they called the first time and resulted in me refunding my ticket (minus some cancellation fee). And then every two weeks I followed up with no good news. Early January I thought to just forget about it and move on. So I set up my going home for February.

So, back to Jakarta, I started my application for PR in Singapore. I also sent a couple of resumes off without expecting that I'd get an interview call. I was targeting to move to Singapore anyway. However in May, I got called for an interview, went for it and got the job, and received news that my PR application had been approved.

Since I had 1 year to secure a job in Singapore, I decided to take the job in Jakarta first as my stepping stone before going to Singapore and look for a job there, considering it might take a while to secure a job offer if I go directly to Singapore anyway. I thought the experience would be good since I had no office experience before.

I think it was a pretty good decision. I'm enjoying my work more and more now. I wonder if I could get away with negotiating with my boss if my status can be made to Singaporean employee assigned in Jakarta in the future. See, my company is a Singapore based company. But with only entry level position, I doubt that could push through. =p Just a wishful thinking though.

I think that's it for now, I'll promise myself to write more about my story in Jakarta.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Updates

TODAY is the 26th day of January, year 2008. Ms. W is in Stony Brook, New York to begin a second masters degree. She just moved into a new place where she shares a dorm apartment with another Chinese student and two Indian students. Ms. C was informed that there was no funding for a new position in the large IT company that interviewed her and she is now preparing to return to Indonesia and planning on looking for work in Singapore. And I have settled into somewhat of a routine at work and am starting to make new friends and seeing possibly new adventures here in the Denver area.

No longer scared of weekends

I have lived in my one-bedroom apartment for about four months. I still have no major furniture, like a bed or sofa. But little by little it's starting to feel like home. No longer do I feel the need to fill my weekends with activities so I won't be lonely in my apartment. I don't dread weekends or holidays as much. I know that if I plan ahead, I could have at least one adventure per weekend, whether it be seeing a new museum, going to a meet up, spending time with other Filipinos or maybe dragging J off to see a movie. I also feel now that there are warm mornings when I don't want to be outdoors. All I want to do is take it easy at home, putter around and lounge with the cats, like I am doing now.

Still, I'll admit that it is a challenge to make new friends when you're new in any city. However, I feel it is easier here in the Boulder-Denver area than it was for me during my short stay with family in Las Vegas. There are more people my age in this area than in Las Vegas. There are also more varieties of people in different lines of work. Now, it's true that Las Vegas is more diverse. But then when I was there, it just seemed that too many people were in the real estate industry.

When one seeks the company of strangers-who-could-be-future-friends

Yesterday I went to a "meet up". I'm registered in a website called meetup.com and chose different activity categories. I had gone twice to my Denver museum meet up and liked the time I spent with other museum-goers. Last night, it was the northern Denver group and the scheduled activity was a stand up comedy show. I met a woman named Nancy, a guy named Shawn and a couple whose names I have forgotten. I thought there wouldn't be much time for socialization, but Nancy, Shawn and I got to chat before the show started. I like them both a lot. They seemed nice and genuinely pleasant people. The comedy show was very good too. All three comics. The opener, the featured comic and the main attraction (who happened to be the writer for "Cow and Chicken", a favorite cartoon of mine in Nickelodeon). I wasn't really in the mood for going to the bar next door after the show finished. Neither were Nancy and Shawn. But I guess the odd part was how the goodbyes were awkward. You chat all evening, get to know their jobs and likes and even some bits of their personal philosophies and then after that you never really know if you're going to see them again. My Filipino self wanted to ask for their contact details. But I have lived here long enough to know that sometimes first meetings are like that...and sometimes they aren't.

Still, I felt a certain connection with Shawn and I wonder if it's because his ethnicity is Asian. I didn't ask him where his family was originally from because, from his accent, he sound like he was born and raised in the US. But some of his humor and his manners where somewhat Filipino. It's a kind of humor or carino I also associate with men who grew up in my province. He flatters, but in an endearing and non-threatening way.

I also felt a certain disconnect at his very, very American accent. An Asian face and a non-specific but nonetheless pronounced American drawl. It as a combination I felt I was resisting or even rejecting.

Monday, January 7, 2008

No OPT for second master && 3 phone interviews

I found I made a huge mistake before today- I am not able to get OPT if I quit the second master. I supposed I could. How stupid I was! I felt really dumb since I've been here for 2 and half years and never paid much attention on visa issues which should be my main concern.
I made a big decision and it was based on false assumptions.

Luckily UMD has not released my I-20 number yet and I did not graduate in December due to the thesis. The release date for my I-20 is on Thursday. I have 1 day left to decide whether I want to continue a second master degree or not.

If I choose to apply OPT on this last day, I can get the next in February and the H1B quota will run out pretty soon after April 1st. It's highly impossible to find a company to support me during that two-month period. But I can change back to F-1 student status in Fall and thus save tuition for one semester. I can gain one year working experience but have to prepare to go back to school by next spring. It's hard to go back home and come back to US again while holding an OPT which means I can't go home for consecutive 3 years.

If I choose to continue on a second master degree, I wasted this one-year OPT and have to pay at least this semester's tuition, or even the whole 2 years' tuition since it's hard to get financial support if I only pursue a master degree. But I can apply for CPT during the summer. Unless some company agrees to give me sponsorship by April and wait me until October to work, I won't get H1B this year. So hopefully next year October I can start working. Between this period, I am free to go back home and us.

So my decision is still: I am going to pursue a second master in SUNY at Stony Brook by family financial support.

__________________________________________________________________

It's amazing that I got 3 phone interviews during this week. I sent out the resumes in early Novembers and did not hear a word from those actuarial companies during December. So I just gave up. And now they came together. Do they follow a common schedule?

But 2 of 3 are full-time positions which I am not able to do under my current status. So I am just going to use them as practice. The first phone interview was scheduled 2pm this afternoon. I was so nervous that I did not sleep much last night. But I was totally in sober today without coffee. I prepared a list of problems and practiced with Ran. She's so helpful. Ms. N also gave me some great suggestions previously.

I did anything that can keep me busy during the last hour. Finally the call came, I was asked the following questions:
Do you willing to relocate?
What's your expecting lowest salary?
what's your highest degree?
how many actuary exams did you past?
Can you give me an example of miscommunicate?
Which excel skills do you use? do you know ...?
Which computer skills do you have?
e.t.

I felt better than I did during last interview with the Mayo Clinic woman. But they were two different kinds of jobs, maybe I can't compare them like this. I could not perform well while giving some answers. Any way, this is my first step. There's a long way to go.

I schedule the second one on Wednesday and the third on on 29th. It seems a job hunting season.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Done school in Duluth

I felt like a super women in the last week. I finished 2 exams, 2 final projects, 4 homeworks , and passed the defense. I stayed up until morning for 3 days and drank 2 cups of coffee per day(I used to only drink water.). I also attended 5 parties, 2 alcohol and 3 non-alcohol.

Hooray! Now I am excited about the moving. Happy holidays, Ms N& Ms C!
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It's been 6 days after I started packing. And it seems I will never finish packing. I got around 20 used boxes from walmart last Saturday. It was today that I noticed these boxes originally were for diapers or underpants... T_T
I began to imagine my friend's expression when he received the boxes.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Giving thanks in a New City

IT did not occur to me earlier, but I now realize that I was lucky to move to a place where an old friend already lives. A. and I were not in the same groups or barkadas in grade school or high school. We were classmates once or twice. But I guess the fact that we all knew each other and practically grew up with each other has made it easy for us to pick up where we left off and improve from there.

This Thanksgiving holiday I cooked the turkey for A's family and met her other friends and family during a lunchtime party. I met her younger brothers and sisters and their spouses and children. I met her friends who were all very warm and welcoming. I also got to spend time with her kids who are just adorable. G is this endearing 18-month old, huggable and always a joy. K is an intelligent and pilya 6-year-old. I remember spending a lot of time helping out in the kitchen, aside from doing the cooking, because I really wanted to help out with the cleaning and also because I just wanted to keep moving. This is probably a remnant habit from my barista days. I also remember not really wanting to socialize much with her friend's Caucasian husbands. Was I selfish to just want to have an easy day talking to people from my country and speaking my language? I wondered that briefly, but didn't really care much to exert an effort to be magnanimous that day.

In the evening, I we all went to this wonderfully large party, where there was karaoke. On the table were dishes from home I hadn't had since I left in 2004. I had to restrain myself from taking more of my favorites because I knew other guests deserved to have a taste too. But it was so hard!

It occurred to me that if A. were not in Denver, I would have probably been invited by an officemate, or I would probably have flown to Las Vegas. But I was grateful to be part of this particular community through my friend. I know I've been here in the US for quite a while, but this was one of those moments where I fully understood the importance of friends and family in a new city.

The United States will always be primarily a foreign land to me with customs and social norms I am still trying to understand. But it is always nice to have a piece of home with you through friends. Specially those who have known you for a long, long time.