Ms. W: Job or PhD, it's a problem

I've been here for 2 years. I came to US to get a Master degree in math&statistics, and hopefully could get into some PhD programs after this. But my applications to the graduate schools were not that successful. I applied 10 schools this year, and got 2 admissions without support. The tuition is a big amount. I am searching support and looking for jobs right now. I can stay in my current program with support for another semester. After that, I will go to Stony Brook University with support from family(I hope I don't have to do that) if I have not found supports or jobs then.

One of the reason I have not got support is my GRE verbal scores are low. I took the test 3 times, once a year during the summer from 4 years ago except this summer. The average is less than 400. It was painful and became a nightmare. the shadow of failure makes me uneasy. I fear if I don't overcome this, which means I could get a score greater than 500, I will never have confidence in my english. I will do it again. But it will occupy too much time which I am short of.

The other reason is my hesitation. I don't have a clear answer why I go to PhD programs. To stay at US? To be respectable? To have more vocation? Do I really like statistics or math? Will I be successful in this field if I don't like it? Is it worth if I become successful but miserable? Do I want to spend the rest of my youth life in campus? Do I really have the talent to handle the phd program? will I enjoy the life of being a phd student and after? what kind of choices do I have after my graduation? Is it better to find a job right now? Is it possible for me to find a acceptable job? which benefits me better in long term, job or phd program?
To be a phd student also involve other problems as a female student. I will be 28,29 after graduation. Should I find significant someone and marry before that? And fundamentally, what kind of life do I want to have? Does being a phd student in the correct direction of life?
I get lost in these questions, again. I need meditation.